Pray for me

Pray for me Jesus
Tell your Dad I’m at a dead end
Ask Him what else He thinks I should do.
Make Him look this way,
He needs to see I’m ready.
Maybe He thought it’d take me longer.

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Life in the chrysalis

I stay glass half full in this chrysalis
coz i know she too is in one.
So when i let out my wings to dry
She should be drying hers.

And we’ll meet at a time written in the stars
I’ll have all the pieces she doesn’t
She’ll have all the ones I don’t.
They’ll join together easy like magic
into this amazing masterpiece.

A painting so wild but radiant
people manning the space will see it .

Happiness

I never write from a happy place
It’s gonna take some getting used to.
He finally answered my prayers!!
Just when my body was giving up too

So I’ve made a permanent spot here
And all it took was a decision.
Crazy

I might not make sense
Coz I’m writing with a smile.
Words refuse to leave my brain in this state.
The trigger has always been tears and pain.

I went to Him all cried out
and angry for all legit reasons.
But he looked let down when He picked me up from the ground.
He told me this

“Son, this was an eleven day journey
But you’re on your eleventh year now
Careful you might spend forty out here
Just coz you keep complaining.

You will get tired of manna, that’s right
But when did I let you go to bed hungry?
Water will be hard to come by
I made the desert so I know.

Son, I anointed you already
Your only part is to perfect your slingshot.
Leave the how with me.

Soon you will drink from wells you never dug.
Infact, there will be so much water there
I’m a little scared you might forget me.
Please don’t stay out here longer than you should”

This peace might be beyond your understanding.
A whole new experience for me.

The End

Been thinking about it a lot
Lately Every day.
This leap of faith I took
I was naive
Now imma leap off Earth

Thought I heard your promises right
Said you won’t take me through what I can’t handle.
I don’t know how strong you think I am
Coz I have tried for a minute now
but I can’t see me through your eyes.
I give up!

It’s all good if you never forgive me
Just give mum the strength to deal.
If you exist.

Drained

One minute i’m thanking my maker for choosing me
The next I’m asking Him to just end it all for me.
I have a smile at nine, tears at nine past nine
I am so motivated in the morning
So suicidal in the afternoon.
I have seasons and they all happen in a day
is why my twenty fours feel eternal.

Mum’s finally giving up too
She thinks it’s taking too long.
They barely know half my troubles
Coz i chose to walk alone.

But now I am drained.

How much longer, God?

I walk on

Man will never live on bread alone?
I have done days on porridge alone.
I never knew I’d master the art
of ignoring hunger pangs

Last week i stopped on this bridge.
Looking down, my place of rest seemed a second away
Probably with some pain or none at all
But then I thought of  mum.
She’s lost a son before
and her husband the other day.
I wouldn’t forgive myself,
even in death!

So I walked away.

I can’t stop now

My body’s slow death makes me stronger each day
These little troubles will seem like nothing soon.
Things that are seen don’t last forever they say
Is why I keep my mind on things I can’t see.

I walk on!

My Sexual Abuse Story and How I Forgave My Abuser

Today’s topic is a rather heavy one. But sadly one that happens too often.

My story is in no way unique. In fact it’s been said that on average one in five girls will become a victim of sexual abuse by age 17 and one in nine boys by age 17. Every eight minuets, child protective services is contacted to report child abuse. In which many cases the calls are related to sexual abuse.

It’s easy to get lost in all of the numbers and statistics. But I thought I’d share what it feels like to be one of them, how it has effected me as an adult, and how I forgave my abuser.

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I was about eight years old. My family and I had just moved to a town next to Yokota Air Force Base in Japan. My parents were in no way affiliated with the military but my…

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